The Big Bhuj Birthday Beach Bash

There are three fellows in Bhuj.
And their birthdays are June 18, June 20, and June 24.
This crazy coincidence led me to formulate one crazy idea way back in November 2009.

In 7 months time all ten of the fellows would meet for one crazy birthday party: The Big Bhuj Birthday Beach Bash. Unfortunately, the word "Booze" was removed from the title due to the inability of us to get our hands on it. But, that aside, the Bash happened last weekend. And it was the shit. A recap and pictures follow:

Dave & Lily come from the southlands 
While a few of the fellows were a bit too far to attend, we did get three newcomers to the town who blew away everyone else! Lily (and her friend Erin) and Dave dropped in early morning on Saturday and immediately set the tone to FUN. If we had just sat on our asses all day eating mangoes in my apartment (which did happen for most of Sunday anyway), it still would have been beyond fun with just these two here. I couldn't have asked for two happier people. SMILEAGE (and mangoes).

WHOOOOOAAA summer break 2010 Mandvi beach!YEAAAAA
The Bash kicked off with our anticipated trip to the beach. The 100 rupee entrance fee was well worth it when our toes touched the soft sand. We plopped down under our personal thatched umbrella, shed our clothes (even with the Indians nearby watching) and made a mad dash for the Gulf of Kachchh. The water was a warm 80 degrees F at least and we rejoiced in the first ocean swim of 2010. We busted out the soccer ball and an old dog with one blue eye who we named "Old Blue" came down and took a family picture with us (see below). He protected us under our umbrella the whole time as a cool breeze blew in from the west. We stayed until sunset.

The 4-foot dhosa
Saturday night was our birthday night and we headed over to Sankalp restaurant for our official "cake." But before the cake, we wanted a little appetizer. When Gabe spotted the 500-rupee 4-foot long dhosa on the menu, we quickly canceled our previous orders and opted for the behemoth. What came below shocked us into more than a few group dhosa pictures. A wayward red hot chili spice made its way down my throat which resulted in the continuation of the recent tradition of vomiting on my birthday (err..). But, no fear, I soothed my throat with what came next: The Sizzling Brownie. There were 4 of them. Hot brownies, with sizzling chocolate sauce, topped with vanilla. It was clearly America. And it soothed my throat, not to mention my emotions. We left satisfied. 

Slumber Parties from circa 1995:

The night rounded off with all 6 of us cramming together on 4 mattresses in my (oven of a) room. Despite the high temperatures and sweat, we stayed up for a few hours joking late into the night, reminiscent of a 5th grade sleepover. Going back to age 10 on my 25th birthday. Couldn't have asked for anything better. The next two nights we opted for the cool breeze on the rooftop, but when the landlord found out we'd been peeing in the corner (laziness was a key theme of the Bash), we swiftly ditched that sleeping area for the rest of the week.

 

World Cup A/C action:
The Bash would not be complete without spending a huge chunk of time in Bhujie A/C restaurants. And for half of Sunday, we did just that. First Hotel Ilark, then Hotel Prince for a Gujarathi thali and to see off Dave, and then finally the second Hotel Prince at 7:30pm to watch the Italy vs. New Zealand World Cup game. The hotel was packed and we ended the weekend on a high note, aka, watching a soccer game that finished in a draw with two teams we didn't give a shit about while eating expensive, mediocre Indian food. Well, at least there was A/C.

The Hill
But even though the weekend had ended and my 25th birthday was a huge success, there was more to come! Lily and Erin were to stay for 4 more days, and on Tuesday we ventured to Kalo Dungar, or the Black Hills, just north of Bhuj, on the edge of the great Rann of Kutch salt desert. We climbed to the top of the 430 meter mountain and gazed out across the salt desert to the border with Pakistan, basking in the cool breeze and watching the sunset once more, this time over the desert rather than the ocean. Watched some live feeding of jackals at nighttime and in general just enjoyed the cool mountain air. Our exploration of Kutch had come to an end, and a well done one at that!

Sicky Fellows and A Quarter Century Gone 
I must say that this was the best birthday for me since 2008! Although Lily and I were sporting some raging fevers at one point, and Caroline was coughing, popping some ibuprofen was the name of our game and everything worked out well. The Bash was a huge success and my quarter century has come and gone in the best way I could have ever imagined. Thanks to all of you who made it an awesome birthday and for all those who wished me happy birthday. I'll be seeing you soon!

In Search of ESPN

It was an exciting Friday afternoon. The exhilaration was building, just a few more hours. Of course today the day seemed to drag by. And then the hour came. 6pm and I left the office. Today began that glorious month-long event that happens only once in 4 years: the World Cup! And Gabe and I had plans to watch at least 1 game every single night. We were ready for the 7:30pm kickoff.

But without TV in our flats, where would we go? Well, since there's absolutely nothing to do around here, and since the World Cup was sure to provide us with much needed entertainment for the next 30 days, we had several master and back up plans ready for our game watching sessions. But would they work out? And thus began our most recent of adventures in Bhuj: the search for ESPN.

Plan 1: Our master plan of going to the one and only coffee shop in Bhuj (with LCD monitor) every night quickly folded as we encountered a shuttered store front. We had just watched the UEFA Champions League final 2 weeks prior at this very spot, what could be the matter? The ice cream dudes next door informed us that "the coffee shop is permanently closed." Why, we asked? Some mechanical problem. BS I claimed. So, when will it reopen? It's closed. For good. To quote the ice cream wallas, "Its time is over."

Plan 2: So perhaps we were a little anxious, but do not fret Mr. reader, we had many more ideas in mind! Next, to call my coworker Pratik and take advantage of the TV in his house. A quick call informed us that he was at the shop and wouldn't be home til late. We could possibly catch the later game at his place. I told him to search for the game when he got home and told me he would. Plan 2 was on the back burner for now.

Plan 3: what we thought could be our most full-proof plan. Hotel Ilark boasted an A/C restaurant, huge flat screen, and past sports events watched on ESPN. And by past sports events, I mean cricket. Well cricket was far from exciting compared to soccer and our trip to Ilark ended in one staff member telling us that the TV didn't work, and the other claiming ESPN has been "shut off." After pointing out their contradiction, they agreed that the TV did indeed work, switched it on, and fumbled through the 70 channels for 20 minutes or so. There was a lot of cricket, but no soccer and no ESPN. Sad Face.

Plan 4: By now we were worried, what were we left to do? We quickly switched to plan 4: approach the landlord who was sure to have an expensive TV package. We walked over to Mr. M's and he gladly agreed to show off his TV to us. As a journalist, he did have a special satellite package - the International. For the next ten minutes, he flipped through the channels pointing out the Japanese language channel, German, Korean, Arabic, and a bunch of other random channels. But, NO ESPN. Fail.

Plan 5: this one was a bit ad-hoc. After the landlord failed, we simply climbed the stairs to the roof and gazed out to all of the neighbor's roofs. We were searching for satellite dishes. If one neighbor had one, it was possible that they also had ESPN! We spotted a few, and knowing the hospitality of our neighbors, went to investigate. Alas, our three attempts were failures. No ESPN. About this time Pratik texted me to say that there was no soccer on his TV either.

Our 5 plans were exhausted. We couldn't believe it. We were depressed. Our grand plans to watch the games every single day were quickly disappearing. The time would pass slowly. It was a terrible period in our lives. We had already resigned to the fact that we were going to miss the opening South Africa v Mexico game that night, but the Saturday night USA v England game was uncompromisable. This was a big deal. We had to watch it. The kickoff was at midnight IST which was a big problem since everthing closes early here.But then, something happened.

Plan 6: We got a phone call from Gabe's coworker, Punit, who had a TV with working ESPN! Were we saved...? Would it all work out? We told him of our plans, of the midnight game. Punit informed us that he lived with eight family members and midnight was too late to watch, everyone would be sleeping. Our spirits dampened, and we resigned ourselves once more. But then he continued... "you'll just have to watch it on mute."

And so on that Saturday night, we all experienced excitement of a degree I haven't felt in a long time. And the colonies tied King George's redcoats 1-1 as our World Cup adventure concluded successfully, our soccer spirits saved.


Draft Results:
As promised, from last week:

Draft #1: Andrew (rotini, capellini, macaroni, fettucini, tortellini)
After some intense debate amongst ourselves, we agreed that my combination was the most diverse. I had a spirally version, a long spaghetti type, the ever classic mac, the flat cream-friendly fettucini, and the circular stuffable tortellini. Jamie's big shells received criticism and Gabe's lasagna just fell flat. We had a clear winner.

Draft #2: Hannan (Blueberry pancakes, fruit salad, potato wedges, filtered coffee)
Hannan stole the draft when he grabbed fruit salad in round 2. There was a common DAMMIT when that choice was announced and from then on out he impressed us with his simple, American breakfast. I had a protein overload, Toma's was way too heavy, Caroline's too British, and Gabe's grapefruit and milk combo just didn't sit well with anyone's stomach.

Draft #3: Gabe (kangaroo,  polar bear, poison dart frog, penguin, Japanese man-of-war) 
Now this was a bit of an anomaly. It was almost universally agreed among the three of us that I had taken it with my vicious hammerhead, cute platypus and sea otter, and majestic Bengal Tiger, but my incessant laughing at most of Talia's choices (especially the iguana) made her vengeful. She voted against me out of spite and Gabe won by default. Damn that iguana.
 
Draft #4: Talia (Holy Roman Empire, King David, Leif Ericson, Adavasi)
When Talia uttered that most venerable of explorers, Leif Ericson, she took it right then and there. None of us were expecting him. No debate was needed - though Gabe's King Arthur did make me think twice.

Draft #5: Lily (Satan, Karl Rove, Brain)
Lily's choices were so original and funny, there was hardly any debate for this one. For me personally, Talia's Osama B. and Gabe's Shredder made worthwhile challenges. I'm not sure exactly what I was trying to accomplish with my picks... perhaps some crazy maniacal Asian dictatorship trio of sorts.

Thanks to those who posted their votes. Let me know of any fun and original Drafts you come up with in the future!
  

First Round Draft Picks

A few months ago, Gabe introduced me to what has become my favorite game to play when I have at least 2 other people around and absolutely nothing to do, aka, every Sunday in Bhuj. Introducing, the Draft.  Before we start, some rules:

The Draft: like a real sports draft, you choose one item and then that item is no longer available to any of the other players.

Choosing Order: We start with one person, go clockwise, and the person at the end gets to choose 2 items before we reverse and go back the opposite direction. When it arrives at the person who started, they too get to choose 2 items.

The Winner: first, we go around the circle and each person gets to give arguments for or against the other people's draft choices. The person on the spot can defend their choices as well. When that is finished, we all write down our votes on a piece of paper simultaneously, then all are tallied up and the winner announced. If the draft is small, winner can be chosen by discussion and mutual acceptance by all players in lieu of tallying up ranks.

A short history of drafts in the last 5 months follows. Pick your winning draft choices as you read and in my comments section write who you think the winners were. Yes this is my lame attempt to see how many people read my blog. I will announce the actual winners with analysis of the decisions on my next blog post.

Draft #1: The Pasta Bar
Goal: to make the best combination of pastas (5 pastas)
Players: Andrew, Gabe, Jamie

Round 1:
J: penne
A: rotini
G: small shells

Round 2:
G: ravioli
A: cappelini
J: big shells

Round 3:
J: linguini
A: macaroni
G: bowtie

Round 4:
G: elbow
A: fettucini
J: spaghetti

Round 5:
J: gnocchi
A: tortellini
G: lasagna


Final Results:
Jamie: penne, big shells, linguini, spaghetti, gnocchi
Andrew: rotini, capellini, macaroni, fettucini, tortellini
Gabe: small shells, ravioli, bowtie, elbow, lasagna

Draft #2: Breakfast
Goal: to have the most well-rounded breakfast (3 food items + 1 drink)
Players: Andrew, Toma, Caroline, Gabe, Hannan

Round 1:
A: bagel and lox
T: Rocky Mountain toast
C: Yogurt w/ granola and blueberries
G: Western omelet
H: fruit salad

Round 2:
H: blueberry pancakes
G: Cinnamon bun
C: soft boiled egg
T: Hippie Hash
A: hard boiled egg

Round 3:
A: orange juice
T: cappucino
C: sugar snap peas
G: grapefruit
H: potato wedges

Round 4:
H: filtered coffee
G: milk
C: tea
T: orange slices
A: cottage cheese


Final Results:
Andrew: bagel and lox, hard boiled egg, cottage cheese, orange juice
Toma: Rocky Mountain toast, Hippie Hash, orange slices, cappucino
Caroline: Yogurt w/ granola and blueberries, soft boiled egg, sugar snap peas, tea
Gabe: Western omelet, cinnamon bun, grapefruit, milk
Hannan: Blueberry pancakes, fruit salad, potato wedges, filtered coffee

Draft #3: Zoo Animals
Goal: to have a zoo with the best combination of animals (1 large mammal, 1 small mammal, 1 amphibian/reptile, 1 bird, 1 fish)
Players: Talia, Gabe, Andrew

Round 1:
T: killer whale
G: kangaroo
A: Bengal tiger

Round 2:
A: bald eagle
G: polar bear
T: iguana

Round 3:
T: Panda bear
G: poison dart frog
A: hammerhead shark

Round 4:
A: platypus
G: penguin
T: ostrich

Round 5:
T: eel
G: Japanese man-of-war
A: sea otter

Final Results:
Talia: killer whale, iguana, Panda bear, ostrich, eel
Gabe: kangaroo,  polar bear, poison dart frog, penguin, Japanese man-of-war
Andrew: Bengal tiger, bald eagle, hammerhead shark, platypus, sea otter


Draft #4: Dynasty, King, Explorer, and Tribe
Goal: to have the best combination of dynasty to rule, king to govern, explorer to send out, and tribe to conquer
Players: Andrew, Gabe, Talia

Round 1:
G: Ottoman Empire
A: British Empire
T: Holy Roman Empire

Round 2:
T: King David
A: King Charlemagne
G: King Arthur

Round 3:
G: David Livingstone
A:  Marco Polo
T: Leif Ericsson

Round 4:
T: Adavasi
A: Hawaiians
G: Iroquois

Final Results:
Talia: Holy Roman Empire, King David, Leif Ericsson, Adavasi
Andrew: British Empire, King Charlemagne, Marco Polo, Hawaiians
Gabe: Ottoman Empire, King Arthur, David Livingstone, Iroquois

Draft #5: The Villain Trio
Goal: to have the most villainous trio of villains
Players: Talia, Toma, Andrew, Lily, Gabe

Round 1:
Tl: Voldemort
To: Hitler
A: Kim Jong Il
L: Satan
G: Syler

Round 2:
G: Shredder
L: Karl Rove
A: Pol Pot
To: Sauron
Tl: Haman

Round 3:
Tl: Osama bin Laden
To: Jafar
A: Saddam Hussein
L: Brain
G: Lex Luther

Final Results:
Talia: Voldemort, Haman, Osama bin Laden
Toma: Hitler, Sauron, Jafar
Andrew: Kim Jong Il II, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein
Lily: Satan, Karl Rove, Brain
Gabe: Syler, Shredder, Lex Luther

 Answers and analysis to come soon! Post a comment on who you think won and why =D

Words of Wisdom Part II

"When you see Andrew on the street tell him, Jai Mataji!"

-local Kutchi news television anchor, after an interview on yours truly was aired
Being one of four token white people in Bhuj, I was chosen to be interviewed on the local Kutchi news channel way back in February about what I was doing in Kutch. The 5-min interview (in hilariously broken Gujarati) was broadcast on the 9pm news, and at the end the newscaster told his watchers the line above. To this day I still receive that greeting (which is a patriotic Indian "good morning" call) on the street from random people. 

"My heart will go on"

-Celine Dion, remixed techno, in the Bhuj gym
I joined a gym in Bhuj (read: living room sized dungeon with 20+ machines crammed in), where every night, six nights a week, the same mix CD was played, with the highlight being, of course, the Celine Dion "My Heart Will Go On" Titanic techno remix. Nothing like cycling to that! 

"The encephalitis mosquito is the smartest mosquito in the world"

 -Ashokbhai, our resident medical "expert" on mosquitoes and malaria at Orientation in November
This man really did teach us many useful things. I just had to throw another random quote that he said in there. This was followed up by, "...it enters your room and hides in the corner. Then, at precisely 2am, it swoops down and attacks. And, you will never know... because... it's completely silent! That's how you get malaria."

"Three things most important on India roads. Good horn, good brakes, good luck"

-Harish, our private a/c car driver, on the 4-hour drive from Agra to Delhi  with my parents
Straight forward. On Indian roads, the three most important things one can have.


"woh andrew what are doing?i am in your behind"

-Madhav, my boss' 11-yr old son, in a Facebook message to me
This made me laugh out loud when I received it, and I'm sure you can see why. I think he meant to say that he was "behind me." I thought this was particularly funny, especially when followed up by the one sent 30 minutes later: "hey andrew how are you? you are hungry now come we go to my home imeggeitly". Although his spelling of the word 'immediately' was cute, I had no hesitation in declining his Facebook friend request.


"If i break the bank, it aint gonna be for bumblebee"

-Toma, another AJWS fellow in Mumbai, on buying tuna in India
Being in a place where getting meat is both difficult and taboo, the gift of 25 portable tuna packets from my mother was happily welcomed. Convinced that my new stash of fish was no biggie for Toma, the girl in the big city with all the tuna she could want at her fingertips, she exclaimed the line above, and put me in my place. Seems fish ain't so cheap by the sea.

"I rubbed my entire body in tigerbalm after the 2nd time to cool off" 

-Gabe, with respect to the heat in Bhuj
We resort to extreme measures to cope with the extreme heat. Enough said.


"Please sit down to eat or the soup will get hot"

-from a supposed dinner conversation in my book, India Culture Shock, at the start of the chapter on the intense heat in India 
One of my favorite quotes concerning India of all time. I Am Living It.